also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
