I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Randomize