Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
