The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize