They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
