the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
