The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
