Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
