New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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