I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
