Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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