Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just tell him i said nine months
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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