I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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