You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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