planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Houston, we have a squirter
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
