I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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