My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
