Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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