I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
