We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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