super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
