It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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