Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
