She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
