if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
