I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
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