I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Are these your boobs on my camera?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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