spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
