I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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