I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This girl is more easily done than said...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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