Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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