grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
