ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
