Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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