What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
