i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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