I bet he comes in French.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize