i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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