Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
