after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
