Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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