That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
