She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
