I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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