based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
