just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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