You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
