Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
