Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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