no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
