My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
