We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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