He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
