No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
