what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
