So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
