Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
