Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize