I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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