that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
do herpes really smell.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
