Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
