Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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