nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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