Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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