Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
