Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
