At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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