im so drunk with asians
where?
always
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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