Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You pole danced in your parka.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
