I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
