But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
