I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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