You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
