Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
