Did you just see the Batmobile???
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
