So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
